


brushing knuckles

by boobop (smacklig_maltid)



Series: haikyuu shorts [10]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Sakusa, F/M, Fluff, Soft Sakusa Kiyoomi, Touch-Starved, angst if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26373697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smacklig_maltid/pseuds/boobop
Summary: He’s not one for physical affection, however, for you he’s willing to make an exception.
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Series: haikyuu shorts [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886323
Comments: 8
Kudos: 194





	brushing knuckles

There was no doubt in your mind that Sakusa loves you. He isn’t the type to waste time on someone he doesn’t care for. And despite the lack of physical affection in your relationship, Sakusa expressed his love for you in countless other ways - it was in the way he’d text you first thing in the morning, how he’d quietly hand over little gifts such as key chains or cute hairbands with a hint of red dusting his cheeks, when he’d show up at your door slightly out of breath after you’ve just told him how bad your day was - there wasn’t a day that went by since you’ve started dating where he’d make you doubt his feelings for you.

But as sure as you were that he loved you, that didn’t stop you from wishing for just a little bit more. A pang of guilt would always make you shake your head, reminding yourself that Sakusa already did plenty for you that was out of his comfort zone with dates in crowded places like amusement parks, or having him accompany you when you go out with your friends. The guilt and frustration has been stirring within you for a while now, and it was getting harder and harder for you to hide the way you’d stare longingly at couples holding hands down the street, or frown at the cutesy scenes you read in those romance novels.

You couldn’t tell yourself that you were okay with it anymore, but you also didn’t want to push Sakusa past his boundaries. The number of times you’ve hugged just for the sake of being close could be counted on your fingers, with the most you’ve ever touched in one day being your first date, where he had to hold your hand to avoid losing you in the crowded train station, and he had ended the night with a gentle kiss on your forehead before softly caressing your cheeks. Even thinking about his warm touch from that day gave you butterflies.

“ - Y/N, are you even listening to me?”

The man who flooded your thoughts pulled you right out of it, bringing you back to reality as he gave you a frown. Ah, right. Before you had gotten lost in your own head you had been sitting next to him on the sofa as he talked about this day until you started thinking about how nice it’d be to cuddle into his warmth right now.

Sakusa isn’t the best at reading social cues or interpreting body language outside of Volleyball, but he sure as hell wasn’t completely clueless when it came to his girlfriend. For the last few weeks you had been quieter, distracted even. Far too many times this week he’s had to snap you out of whatever train of thought you’ve jumped on in the middle of a conversation, and it didn’t help that when you _were_ listening you’d end up giving him short answers. There was obviously something wrong, and he really hoped it wasn’t him.

“Sorry Kiyoomi, I’m just…really tired today,” you mumbled out the first excuse you could think of, averting your eyes away from your boyfriend. He narrowed his eyes at the obvious lie and clicked his tongue in irritation - how was he supposed to help you if you weren’t gonna tell him anything? He wasn’t angry, but he was frustrated and frankly, a little hurt too. As your boyfriend, he likes to think that you’d go to him if anything was wrong. And _Kiyoomi_? Since when did you stop calling him ‘ _Oomi_ ’ in that soft voice of yours?

“Okay,” he sighed, hesitantly letting it go. He’s hoping that you’ll tell him soon before whatever problem you were facing ate you up, if not, he’s not gonna be letting you off so easy.

Another couple of days went by and things didn’t seem to be improving whatsoever. Sakusa’s concern only grew with each day that went by, and he quickly became upset with himself for not being able to figure out what was wrong. So he decided to try and cheer you up with a date, seeing as you hadn’t been on one in a while, and hopefully by the end of the night you’d be able to open up to him about what’s been bothering you.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” You asked him, your eyes looking over his shoulder to where his teammates were practising. He’d been so busy practising as of late due to an upcoming match, and you knew how much his practice meant to him, so having him cutting his practice short to go on a date with you was a little odd. Sakusa followed your gaze, watching as Bokuto and Hinata high-fived each other. The tiniest urge to go back in and play was there, but he wasn’t going to ditch you to play some sweaty game with his idiotic teammates. It’s a much needed break anyway, and time spent with you was something he values dearly.

“Of course it’s okay. I’d rather hang out with you right now,” he replied nonchalantly and started walking towards the exit doors. You stood frozen in your spot, heart and mind still trying to process the simple yet sweet words that your boyfriend had just spoken to you. It wasn’t until he held the doors open and looked at you expectantly did you break out of your flustered state and follow him.

“So where are we headed tonight?” You grinned, hugging your cardigan tighter around yourself as a chilly breeze blew by. He eyed you for a moment as you began to walk down the street, the way his eyebrows pinched together telling you that he was thinking.

“Bokuto-kun mentioned there’s a small festival being held by the pier for the next few days. You said you like things like that, right?” Sakusa looked at you for confirmation. You nodded, a little surprised that he remembered. You had only mentioned it in passing, and even that was about four months ago, when you’d started dating. “Then we’re going to the pier.”

The two of you walked side by side in silence, your heart fluttering every time his knuckles brushed against yours, the urge to just grab his hand in yours almost winning over your self-control. The way your eyes darted down to your hands every now and then didn’t go unnoticed by your observant boyfriend. He pretended not to notice for the time being, cursing at himself inwardly for being too shy to grab your hand despite being a few months into the relationship already. The other times were different - there was always an excuse to hold your hand - but now if he grabbed your hand, he’d be far too embarrassed to admit that he just wanted to hold you.

And you walked to the pier, oblivious to one another’s thoughts.

Colourful lights and small crowds of people surrounded the area, the chatter already pretty loud from a short distance away. Immediately you turned to Sakusa with a bit of worry, but besides the his little habit of tugging his mask up a tiny bit, he didn’t show much discomfort, instead he inched a little bit closer to you. Since he didn’t seem to be uncomfortable, you looked around at the different stalls, tugging at his windbreaker to make sure that you didn’t lose him. A delighted gasp escaped your lips as you spotted a cotton candy machine, not wasting any time as you led your boyfriend towards the stall.

Unbeknownst you you, he had a small smile underneath his mask. There was something about watching you getting excited over things like this that made him happy, especially after watching you frown so much these past few weeks. The whole point of this little date of yours was to cheer you up anyways, and he was willing to walk right into this crowd with you if it meant you could smile a little.

“I haven’t had cotton candy in forever!” You squealed, clapping your hands together. _Gosh_ , you were so cute to him. As the two of you waited in the short line by the cotton candy stall, you looked around for anything that would be interesting to do after you get your snack. Instead of finding a game stall, your eyes fell upon a couple walking by, their arms hooked together as the girl leaned down to whisper into the other girl’s ear, giggles escaping them as they did so. Sakusa followed your gaze, catching the way you deflated a bit. He might even say you looked a little envious.

Before he could ask you what was up, you had reached the end of the queue, your smile not as bright as it was earlier. He bit back whatever question he had. The night isn’t over yet, and he didn’t want to ruin the date by bringing up something you didn’t really seem to want to talk about.

Fortunately, your mood was lifted right back up again as the night went on. There were a few times you almost forgot about his distaste for physical affection, like when he won you an adorable owl plushie at the shooting game and you had almost leaned in for a hug and played it off as you smoothing out his jacket. He was a little confused by your actions but didn’t make a comment on it, handing you over the plushie with a hint of red on his cheeks - not that you could see it, of course.

“Okay…I think I’m a little tired of walking around. We could sit down in the park for a bit and then head home?” You suggested, jerking your head in the direction of the park just outside of the festival. He chewed on the side of his cheek. He wasn’t a big fan of sitting in public parks, where the benches were usually covered in bird droppings or someone’s trash - but tonight for you. He nodded and the two of you made your way towards the park, sitting on the first empty bench you spotted. “Thank you for today, Oomi. I had a lot of fun,” you told him.

“I’m glad,” he hums, “I’ve been meaning to take you out on a date for a while now. We haven’t been out together recently. Sorry about that, by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna get mad at you for being passionate about your job - I love that you love what you do.”

He can’t help but feel as if he’s won the lottery in terms of partners when you say this. How lucky was he to have such an understanding partner? He doesn’t know how to repay you for all you’ve done for him. He’s no idiot, he know’s you’ve dropped a lot of habits and changed certain things about your lifestyle for him - like how you switched just about every cleaning product from dish soap to shampoo to a brand that he prefers, how you’ve stopped eating on the sofa after he complained about a few crumbs, how you’ve started carrying around hand sanitiser and wet wipes for him, or how you suggest home dates far more than eating out despite how much you gushed about romantic dates at parks before you started dating. What has _he_ done for you? He wonders.

“Y/N,” he murmurs, “are you upset with me?” He finally asks. Maybe he’s the problem, he concludes. Maybe that’s why you’ve been upset recently. You tilt your head to the side in confusion, shaking your head slowly.

“No, why?”

“I’ve noticed you haven’t been happy recently. Have I done something to upset you?” He shifts so that he’s completely facing you. You blink at his bluntness, unsure how to respond to him. If you lied, he’d be able to tell, but if you told the truth, he might be upset with you instead. Then again, he’d be upset anyway if you lied. “Please, even if it’s not me - I’d like it if you told me what was wrong. I’m worried about you…if not me, then at least speak to one of your friends.”

The intensity in his stare made you avert your eyes, still conflicted as to whether or not you should admit your need for physical affection. The sincerity in his words were making it harder for you to be willing to lie to him again, and you hesitantly settled on just telling him the truth.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t been completely honest with you,” you started, rubbing your hands together nervously. “At the beginning of our relationship, you made it clear that you’re not comfortable with things like holding hands, hugging and other things of the sort, and I told you I was okay with that. A-and I was! At least, at the start I was. But it’s different now - I don’t know, I just love you so much sometimes I want to show it through all the stuff you’ve said you’re not comfortable with, and I don’t know what to do about these feelings -”

“We can do that,” he cut you off, catching you by surprise. “I don’t mind. You’re…I trust you. And I’ve also been… _craving_ these affections.” He coughed awkwardly and looked away from you, rubbing his neck. _Damn, his reaction was so cute_ , you cooed in your head, clutching your chest as your heart raced.

“R-really?” You whispered, slowly reaching out for his hand. He turned back to you and shyly held your hand in his, still not looking you in the eye.

“You know I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

He didn’t think he’d be the type to crave physical affection so much, often finding himself uninterested as Atsumu rambled on about the awesomeness of holding someone, but with you he finally understood. And with the warmth from your hands, he’d be wanting some more affection at home. Perhaps a cuddle session can be arranged.


End file.
